Halldór Úlfarsson (IS)

I owe some money to my (former) bank in Iceland, it´s not a huge amount, almost half the worth of a cheap new car. They said they where going to declare me bankrupt, or that´s what I think it translates to in english, anyway the thing they do when they go after what you own… Which in my case is a 1982 Mercedes Kasten modified into a camper. It´s registered in Finland and it makes me nervous to think about it because I haven´t paid insurance or taxes of it in over a year, I would have really liked to not owe money in Finland. But anyway it shouldn´t be so much finally, I just have to get around to calling them that the car will never come back to Finland and I would like to take it off the registry.

I have not heard anything from my icelandic bank since the threats. It´s just possible that they never made good on it. If so it´s almost certainly because of the market crash, that by some coincidence my crisis conformed to the situation of people who have jobs but still became unable to meet their payments and a policy was developed to give them a break.

I don´t have a credit card anymore which used to be very comforting to have but somehow I haven´t gotten into bad trouble where I would need it since I lost it.

When I meet new people I usually talk about art alot and if I’m getting closer to someone I show them works I have made (the ones I still like…). I also think about new artworks, if I like the idea I’m rolling around in my head I often think I might produce the work if the opportunity arises.

I have become very aware of this in my thinking, where it’s like I’m waiting for a work to happen by it self. I’m waiting for a situation to present itself to allow the artwork to happen without me making a decision and taking action.

A good friend of mine called me a fatalist once. I didn’t understand what he meant, maybe it was something in my character related to this way of thinking.

I’m partly disgusted by these opportunistic feelings I experience and act on, but when I consider the opposite approach, where I would of decide and act it feels unacceptable, almost obscene.